


Just Keep Moving

by Loveislove87



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-22
Updated: 2019-09-28
Packaged: 2020-07-10 10:27:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 11,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19904233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Loveislove87/pseuds/Loveislove87
Summary: The adventures of the Pod Squad and the Human League post 1x13





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is an accumulation of some of the ficlets I've posted on tumblr. I figured it was time to assemble them into a logical order. Thank you for reading and don't forget to visit me at Scottt190 :)

When he heard the sound of tires on gravel, Alex lifted his head, neck stiff from leaning it back on the too hard chair he’d been sitting on for hours. He pushed himself out of the chair, limbs stiff but adrenaline making everything move the way he wanted.

Michael jumped out of the truck and walked with such purpose toward Alex he thought for sure he was either getting kissed or punched. When neither happened, Alex took a breath to speak but was stopped by Michael.

“Don’t-just, don’t say anything.” Up close, Michael looked exhausted. His eyes were dark and heavily lidded, shoulders drooping but somehow simultaneously tense. There was still a bit of caked on blood coating his neck. It made something break in Alex’s chest.

“I can’t do whatever this is with you, Alex. Not now, not tomorrow, maybe never, I don’t know.” Michael looked and sounded frantic, almost like he would have said this to an empty space, Alex’s presence practically unnecessary.

“So much happened last night. Everything’s changed.” Alex stood frozen, quickly moving through his prepared speech in his head hoping some part of it would be relevant or helpful but he found couldn’t keep up with Michael’s mania.

“I’m with Maria.” Alex felt his jaw drop and his heart stop. There was no universe where he expected that blow. But Michael wasn’t done. “I can’t keep being the guy who gets left, that isn’t wanted, who gets chosen last. I want normal and simple and happy and you aren’t gonna give me that, Manes. But maybe she will.”

Alex couldn't help the visible flinch he released at the use of his last name. This felt so personal and yet so distant, Alex didn’t know what to make of it.

“I can’t keep looking at you. Cause you’re right, you know? I look at you and all I see now is another Manes man.” Michael took a deep breath as Alex raised his guard, trying to prepare for the next hit.

“ I may be your family but you aren’t mine.” Alex took a step back, unable to hide the shock and the hurt. He didn’t think today would end with romance and sweet nothings but he had no idea he’d be taking another bullet.

The silence between them was stifling. Alex shook his head, unable to formulate clear thoughts, all his focus on the agony in his chest.

He bent down, lifting the backpack he had sitting at his feet. When he stood, he blinked rapidly, silently begging his tears to just wait a few more minutes. “Wow.” He cleared his throat and offered the bag to Michael. With confusion written on his face, Michael reached to take the bag. But the glimpse of clear skin and strong fingers shocked Alex into motion, grabbing Michael by the wrist to make sure he wasn’t hallucinating.

Michael pulled away abruptly, stoic look in his eyes. Alex just nodded with a sad smile and tossed the bag at Michael’s feet. “I’m leaving. Heading to California for awhile. I felt like I owed you that though.” He nodded toward the bag, a bitter, ugly part of him hoping the precious glass inside had broken.

Alex looked up and finally saw some emotion behind the hazel eyes he always fell into. But he felt nothing. It was time to go.

“Alex, wait. Alex-“

But he turned toward his Jeep, anger and heartbreak threatening to crawl out through his throat, ignoring the change he heard in Michael. He refused to let the first tear fall until he could only see Guerin in the rear view, the other man standing right where Alex left him but with both hands gripping his hair roughly.

Enough now. Enough.


	2. Chapter 2

“So what’s the big emer-,” Kyle cut himself off, scanning the quiet chaos in the room before him. He took in Alex, shoulders hunched, carefully folding clothes into a duffle, sniffing slightly as he went.

“What’s going on, Alex?” Kyle couldn’t help the concern that laced his voice. He finally got his friend back, had made amends for his high school stupidity. The idea of Alex disappearing again was unacceptable.

Alex stood straight and wiped his face with shaking hands, still not facing Kyle. “I was hoping you could help me out. I don’t have any plants to water or anything but if you could swing by now and then, make sure the place is still standing and bats haven’t moved in I’d be grateful.” Alex turned slightly to toss a set of keys at Kyle which hit his chest then fell to the floor with a deafening sound, the man unable to move. Alex just turned back to his packing. “You’re welcome to stay here, if you’d like. It’s a great place if you wanted to get away for a bit.”

Turning with a sad smile and wet, red rimmed eyes to his new, old friend, he asked, “Are you up for it? If not I understand.”

Kyle just shook his head. “I mean, yeah of course I’ll do it but where the hell are you going?”

Alex took a deep breath and shifted his bag on his shoulder. He only packed the basics, a few other bags and his guitar already loaded in the jeep. “I’ve been planning on taking a few weeks in California. I have some friends out there who always invite me out to visit. Thought I’d finally take advantage.”

Kyle nodded, releasing a breath he didn’t realize he was holding. “That sounds great, man. You’ve had a lot going on. A vacation sounds perfect.”

But Kyle noticed how Alex shifted his weight, wouldn’t meet his eyes.

“What aren’t you telling me Alex?”

Alex bit his lip and looked up. Kyle could see the pain in his eyes. With a sigh Alex said, “I don’t know when I’ll be back.”

Kyle moved then, pulling the bag from Alex’s shoulder. He shook his head almost violently. “No. No!” He said louder when Alex opened his mouth to protest. “You have to come back. And soon! We have research to do and you, you just got back! What about Liz and Maria? What about Guerin?!”

Alex took a wet, shaky breath at the sound of Michael’s name and that’s what it took for the pieces to fall into place for Kyle. “This is about Guerin? You’re gonna leave your home for Guerin?”

Alex let out an empty, bitter sound. An imitation of a laugh. “Yeah.” He nodded his head and offered a sad smile. “Yeah I am. He told me how little I mean to him, that we will probably never be able to fix everything and that he’s with Maria now.”

“What?” Kyle was immediately overwhelmed. “I don’t exactly like Guerin but that doesn’t sound like-,”

“Well he said it. He said it and it’s happening and I’m done. I can’t watch him with someone else, let alone Maria!” Kyle could hear the agony in his friend. “You know, I sat there last night, waiting for hours, going over and over in my head how I would tell him I was going away to start again for a few weeks, to remember who I used to be, so I could be a better man. For him. How I would tell him I love him.”

Alex had begun pacing, tense with the pain and disappointment he’d be carrying alone for the last few hours. Kyle didn’t dare to move. “I thought for sure he was hurt. Cause he was so late, y’know? I kept telling myself he’d come home and, if he was hurt, I’d take care of him. I wouldn’t leave him again.” Alex sniffed and wiped his nose roughly on his shirt.

“Then there he is, walking and talking, telling me how little I mean to him.” Alex couldn’t help the small sob that escaped then. He turned his back to Kyle, not wanting anyone to see him fall apart. With a few steadying breaths, he turned back around, obvious resolve on his face.

“I wanted to go to California for 2, maybe 3, weeks. See some friends, go to the beach, shop, play music. Just relax and try to remember the man I wanted to be. I wanted to come home, to Michael, and show him that I’m more than my name. That I’m better than that. That I’m a good man.”

Again he sniffed. Kyle felt tears sting the back of his eyes. Seeing his friend so devastated was too much.

Alex smiled then, small and a bit broken. He picked up the bag that had ended up near Kyle’s feet and headed toward the door. Kyle followed silently behind him, completely lost as to what he could do or say to help his friend.

Alex tossed the duffle in the passengers seat then turned to Kyle. He gave him a quick hug with a pat on the back and moved to the drivers side.

“You are a good man, Alex. Guerin doesn’t get to define you.”

Alex smiled, one hand on the car roof, one boot in the car. He nodded with a smile, just a bit brighter than the one offered before. “Thanks. He’s a good man, too, you know? Just hurting. But it’s done now. It’s time to find out who I wanna be. Who I can be I guess.”

Kyle nodded with a smile. As Alex pulled on his seat belt and turned the key, Kyle yelled out, “wear sunscreen and a hat!”

Alex laughed and yelled back through the open window, “don’t burn my house down!”

And with that, Alex was off.


	3. Chapter 3

“You look tired.” Maria moved a hand through Michael’s curls, reaching over the bar to do so.

Michael looked up from where he was pulling the label off his bottle, quirking up the side of his mouth. “Yeah. I’ve been having a hard time sleeping. Probably too much caffeine or something.”

Maria offered a small smile and nod. “Or it’s because Alex is gone?”

Michael’s eyes went wide at that and he heard a small huff from his right come from Valenti which he chose to ignore. Maria didn’t seem to notice. “I miss him, too, you know?”

Michael huffed. “Nah. I’m used to him not being here.”

Maria rolled her eyes but leaned over the bar, giving him a chaste but sweet kiss. “Okay.”

She headed off to the other end of the bar, a small group beckoning her, when Michael heard Valenti chatting with Liz.

“He looks great! Never thought he’d be a beach guy.” Liz had Kyle’s phone and was scrolling through some photos.

“Yeah. I like the long hair. Looks like that guy doesn’t hate it either.” They both laughed, zooming in on a particular picture.

“Wow he’s gorgeous. Are they dating?” Michael couldn’t help the pit he felt at the idea. He’d worked for weeks on trying to move past the guilt and regret of Alex’s move, so disappointed in the way he spoke to Alex and then being too cowardly to try fixing it. Instead, he had thrown himself into his relationship with Maria and drank himself into oblivion most nights.

Somehow Alex was still always on his mind.

“I’m not sure. I know he’s been on some dates so maybe that’s one of ‘em.”

Liz nodded and smiled, handing the phone back to Valenti. “I’m proud of him. I miss him, and I’m gonna punch him in the throat for just vanishing when he gets back, but I’m glad he’s doing this.”

Kyle nodded, pocketing his phone and taking a final swig of his drink.

“Shit I didn’t realize the time. I have some more work to do at the lab. Text me, ok?”

Kyle gave Liz a quick hug with a reminder to eat and sleep, getting a light smack for his troubles, and she was gone.

Michael had watched their interaction out of the corner of his eye, silently desperate to hear anything about Alex and how he’s been.

Although he still believed they wouldn’t work together, knowing he wasn’t around was killing him a bit more each day.

He felt then heard Kyle sit on the stool next to him. He slowly turned his head to find Valenti with a nasty smirk on his face.

“So,” Kyle drawled, “how’s it going?”

Michael downed the rest of his drink and turned to Kyle with the widest smile he could offer. “I’m fabulous, doc, how are you?”

“I’m great, thanks! Just catching up with Liz, letting her know how Alex is doing. How much he loves California, the people he’s meeting. He’s playing music again. Sent me a video. God his voice is gorgeous.”

Kyle never broke eye contact with Michael, clearly challenging the other man to show emotion which there was no way he was gonna do.

He smiled a small, cruel thing and said, “great! I know Maria would love to know, too.”

Michael registered what could easily be interpreted as disgust cross Kyle’s face, feeling a small pool of it build in his chest as well. He didn’t know why he was being so hateful. This was all pretty much his fault and he wanted nothing more than for Kyle to keep talking about Alex.

But Kyle pulled it together and leaned in close, one eyebrow raised. “She would, wouldn’t she? I mean, you two are so great together, right? So much better than you and Alex. It’s been what? 3 months? She must know everything about you now!”

Michael could feel himself losing control over his features, struggling to hide how much Valenti’s sarcasm was dead on.

The other man just smiled, knowing exactly what he was doing. “I’ve been meaning to ask, how did she take the alien thing? Was she cool with it all? The pods, the magic healing, the fact that no one offered to help her mom? Is she able to help go through the Caufield data cause lord knows I could use some help.”

A shot glass exploded behind the bar but Kyle didn’t flinch, eyes never leaving Michael.

In fact he leaned in even closer, Michael able to feel Kyle’s breath on his face. “Alex is a good, good man who has been to hell and back. I know you’ve got your own baggage but somehow you managed to blame all that on him, too.”

Michael went to move away with a huff, heart hammering in his chest and eyes stinging but was stopped by a surprisingly strong hand on his wrist.

His left wrist.

“He told me what his dad did.” Michael tried to pull out of Kyle’s hold but found it in a vice grip. “I can’t imagine what that was like for you and it’s fucking disgusting that he did it. But what do you think he did to Alex after that?”

Michael blinked quickly, unwilling to shed even one tear in front of Valenti. Kyle released Michael and shook his head, the previous anger replaced with a cloud of sadness. “You can only play pretend for so long, Guerin.”

With that he got up and headed toward the door, Michael watching him as he left. As though he knew he was being eyed, Kyle shouted without turning back, “I’ll make sure to not tell Alex you said hi” and waved goodbye with his middle finger over his head.

Michael couldn’t help the little laugh he released. Honestly, if someone treated Alex the way he had, he’d lose his shit on them, too.

He pinched the bridge of his nose and willed away the dampness that still clung to his eyes. He had no idea what he was doing.

And from the other end of the bar, Maria was thinking the same thing.


	4. Chapter 4

_We have updates. Little green men. Glass house 9pm_.

Michael rolled his eyes. There had been two other texts like this one over the past few weeks and both had brought disappointment, frustration and false hope. Liz and Kyle had been working hard in their own right, one practically living in the lab, many times with Michael by her side, while the other rarely lifted his head from the Caufield data. As grateful as Michael was to their dedication to bringing Max back, he was exhausted and feeling cynical.

The truck pulled up outside of Max’s around 9:30, Michael having a hard time explaining to Maria why he couldn’t stay yet again. He knew their dynamic had changed, her pushing more for answers, him hiding the answers deeper and deeper. But he’d worry about that tomorrow.

He grabbed his hat from the passenger seat and headed in.

Without raising his head, Michael headed to the kitchen, grabbed a beer and took a seat on the couch next to Isobel.

Liz cleared her throat and continued with whatever she had been saying. “The work we’re doing in the lab is done. It’s useless.” Michael’s head whipped up at that. With a sad shake of her head, Liz offered, “I know we’ve been working hard, Mikey, but the answers aren’t there. They’re here.”

With that, Valenti got up from his seat on the perimeter of the group and handed Isobel a large, but blurry photo. Michael leaned over to get a closer look, noting what seemed to be a child in a uniform, in a cell, hair wild, barefoot and completely alone.

Michael cleared his throat, memories bombarding him at warp speed and threatening to shut him down. “What the hell is this, Valenti?”

“That’s our answer. There’s another facility like Caufield, in the middle of nowhere in Arizona. That little guy is S-2.” With a slight smirk, Kyle asked, “you wanna guess what he can do?”

Isobel’s jaw dropped and eyes widened. “This kid,” she pointed aggressively at the photo, “can heal?”

Kyle and Liz smiled. “Yeah. But there is a problem.” Kyle sat on the chair closest to Isobel, having barely made eye contact with Michael so far this evening.

“This place is guarded and nothing like Caufield. They aren’t trying to pretend there’s nothing there. It’s a prison, lots of security, guards everywhere, fencing, barbed wire, the whole deal.”

Isobel nodded, trying to absorb all the new information. She turned to Michael. “What do you think?”

Michael honestly didn’t know. The thought of seeing another facility with more of their people locked up and tortured made him want to drive there now and run in the opposite direction at the same time. But the look of hope in Isobel’s eyes couldn’t be denied. And it was for Max.

He put an arm around her shoulders and pulled her in, dropping his cheek to her head. “Let’s do it.”

Kyle and Liz both looked satisfied and he felt Isobel release some tension beneath his fingers.

Holding the photo once more he couldn’t help but say, “I’m shocked, doc. You actually managed to make yourself useful.” He offered the picture back. “Congrats!”

A look of pure arrogance took over Valenti’s face making the insincere smirk on Michael’s grow even larger. Kyle handed the picture to Liz and crossed his arms over his chest, leaning against the kitchen counter top now.

“You caught me, Guerin. I’m just the delivery boy.” Michael lost the smirk once his confusion set in. But before he could ask any questions, Valenti continued. “I didn’t discover shit.”

“I did.”

With that, Michael turned toward the door to find long, dark hair, chocolate eyes, a deep tan covering ripping muscles and a nose ring.

He couldn’t keep the awe and relief out of his voice.

“Alex.”


	5. Chapter 5

He didn’t even look at him.

Even when Michael breathed out his name, Alex didn’t acknowledge him.

Together, the group started forming basic ideas as to how to get to Arizona and how to breakout S-2. Michael’s radical “let’s just fucking go” wasn’t well received, and he supposed for good reason.

Liz and Kyle had both offered, knowing there were medical personnel employed at the site. Isobel had unhelpfully offered to just blow everyone’s head up.

In the end, Alex had won out, asking the group to give him 24 hours to find out which of his brothers was stationed at this location and if it was a brother he could make amends with. They all agreed it was the most logical plan, Alex the only one with any military background.

Michael sat silent, wondering if Alex would have to cut his hair and take out his nose ring again.

Once everyone knew what to expect and they’d chosen a time and place to meet the next day, they went their own ways, Kyle and Alex leaving together. But Michael couldn’t help himself.

“Alex!”

Alex turned slowly, exasperation written across his face. Kyle had turned as well, stepping ever so slightly in front of Alex.

With a light shove, Alex relieved Kyle of his guard dog duty, the doctor patting Alex on the back and heading out to his car. Michael had no doubt Valenti would be going nowhere until Alex emerged from the house.

Now that Michael had Alex’s attention, he was unsure what to do with it. Hands in his pockets and face to the floor, he asked, “you’re back?”

Alex nodded, not saying anything more. Michael had never felt so much distance between them before.

Well, that wasn’t entirely true.

Michael cleared his throat. “I’m glad you-“

“I really like California.”

Michael closed his mouth, afraid of what Alex would say but desperate to keep hearing his voice.

“I met really nice people there and my past doesn’t matter. I’m just Alex.”

Michael nodded, knowing his voice couldn’t handle words at this point.

“I’m gonna do this, make this right for Liz and Isobel and for you. And then I’m going home.”

Michael nodded at that, feeling the clenching in his chest release. “It’ll be good to have you home. Everyone really missed-”

“No.”

The strength in Alex’s voice stopped Michael immediately.

“Roswell isn’t home, Guerin. I’ve built a new home now. Home is California. I’m going back to California.”

With that, Alex turned and walked out, not giving even the smallest glance backwards.

Michael couldn’t move. He started losing sight on the outskirts of his vision, his heart beat so quickly he couldn’t take deep breaths and he felt a bead of sweat roll between his shoulder blades.

He practically ran to the bathroom and locked the door with shaking hands. He threw cold water on his face but it wasn’t enough to stop the panic. He landed with a thud on the floor, gasping for air.

He was losing Alex again. But this time, he didn’t think he’d survive it.


	6. Chapter 6

It had been a rough night. Followed by a bad morning which was quickly morphing into a shitty afternoon.

As much as she focused her energy into Max and secret prisons and enhancing her powers, the shadow of Noah was always there, suffocating her.

She had been awake most of the night, oscillating between hatred and disgust for her husband and every manipulative thing he’d ever done and feeling this immense sense of loss and loneliness.

It had all been real for her. And it just wouldn’t go away.

She sat on a bench, slightly damp from the light rain they’d had that morning, watching the people go by. Were they hiding things, too? Were there aspects of their lives they weren’t in control of? Did they even know?

A throat cleared next to her making her jump. An apologetic looking Alex offered a small smile.

“Hey.”

Isobel straightened up and adjusted her ponytail. “Hey.”

Alex tilted his head toward the bench. “May I?”

Isobel shrugged indifferently, not sure what Alex could possibly want.

For what felt like a long time they just sat in silence. Isobel had to admit it felt nice, not being alone but no one asking anything of her.

Alex shifted slightly before saying, “Liz told me a little about what’s gone on since I left.”

Isobel crossed her legs and rolled her eyes. “Okay.”

She could see out of her periphery that Alex wasn’t looking at her. His gaze was scanning the people who walked by.

“I’m sorry you had to go through that. It’s not okay.”

Isobel shrugged once more. “He’s dead now so…”

Nonchalance had become her best defense.

“I have no idea what it’s like to go through what you did.” Isobel nodded absentmindedly. She lost count of the number of apologies she’d received from well-meaning people.

“But I do know what it’s like to be abused by someone who should love you.” Isobel looked at Alex then although he continued to stare ahead. She noticed his hands were clenched tight in fists despite his calm presence and steady voice. “No one deserves it.”

Isobel cleared her throat, feeling for the first time as though someone could understand, even just a little, the betrayal and fear she had felt. Still feels. Before she could say anything, Alex placed his hand gently on hers, giving it the slightest squeeze.

“I know we’ve never been close but I could use a shopping buddy. Liz is too busy for me recently and I own more shirts in the beige family than anyone should.”

Isobel laughed, for the first time in weeks. “Well you’re about to go on a secret mission, soldier, so I’m not sure when you’ll have time to frequent the mall.”

Alex laughed. “We should make time.” Isobel found herself agreeing.

That actually sounded nice. “Yeah. Okay.”

She stood, finally having some energy to get some shit done. “But I don’t wanna talk about boys. Any boys.” She raised her eyebrows, hoping she was making her Michael-shaped point.

Alex made a face. “Ew, no.” A bright smile crossed his face.

Isobel nodded and smiled back. “Let’s make a date.”

It was time to start again, and this time, she would be in control.


	7. Chapter 7

“Where the hell are you going now?”

Liz stopped with her hand frozen on the door. Maria rarely raised her voice. Something was going down and Liz wasn’t sure she wanted to be a part of it.

“I’m just exhausted, Maria. I’m gonna go home and sleep but I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

Oh. Michael.

“You can sleep here. You used to do that, if you remember. I know it’s been a long time but you did.” 

“I don’t sleep well in other places, I told you that. I can’t get comfortable. I’m used to my place.”

The voices suddenly stopped so she backed up slowly, afraid to be caught out if Michael was really leaving. “What are you hiding from me, Guerin?”

Again the silence. Liz’s heart was racing. She had figured Maria didn’t know about the space craziness but the sadness in her voice made her want to hold her friend close.

“Nothing. I’m just tired.”

“Michael I’m not kidding. You’re closed off and barely talk. I know I didn’t do anything wrong so what the hell is going on?”

After a beat, Liz barely made out a quiet, “I have to go.”

The sound of heavy boots made their way toward the door she was standing behind. She quickly looked around, trying to find a place to hide so that her snooping wouldn’t be discovered. 

“I’m done, Guerin. I’m not gonna be your safety net and I’m not gonna keep getting lied to.”

Liz noticed the sound of moving feet had stopped. She heard a sigh from the other side of the door which had moved a bit. Michael must have his hand right on it.

“I’m trying, Maria. I really am.” Liz took a deep breath at the sound of Michael’s voice. It was broken. But, if she was being honest, she wasn’t sure it was because of Maria.

“No you’re not. You’re stuck and using me to try to move forward. And I’m better than that, Guerin.”

“Maria-”

“Take a break from the Pony for awhile. I need time to breath without seeing you.”

Liz could tell Maria was holding back tears. Her friend rarely let anyone see her struggle.

“I really care about you, Maria. I hope you know that. I’m just-” Michael was clearly having a hard time, too. “I’m just lost.”

“I don’t have the energy to keep trying to find you, Michael. You’ve gotta go.” 

After a few seconds, Michael walked out, Liz hiding behind the door. She watched him move slowly to his car, kicking the dirt as he approached, the entire truck lifting briefly in the air.

As she watched him pull away, she turned and made her way into the bar, finding her friend taking a shot and wiping away tears. Liz pulled up a stool and sat down. She took the bottle and poured herself a glass, throwing it back with a grimace. 

When she opened her eyes she found Maria staring at her. Liz felt too open and exposed. 

“Where the fuck is Max, Liz?”


	8. Chapter 8

“So are you still watching Stranger Things or are you done with that?”

Alex can’t help the face he makes as Michael casually slides into the booth across from him, beginning a conversation as though they had been in the middle of it.

Alex stares at Michael’s face, so open, honest, hopeful. Beautiful.

But it isn’t enough. All Alex can offer is a “what?”

“Stranger Things. New season? You mentioned awhile back that you really liked it so…”

Alex just shakes his head and blinks quickly. Maybe with enough blinks this awkward encounter will vanish.

But he still sees honey curls through his lashes.

So he does what Michael has cruelly told him he’s excellent at. Alex pushes his food away and stands up abruptly, grateful for the smoothness in his movements and ready to leave. But Michael stands up just as quickly and ends up far too close to Alex’s face.

It’s hard to avoid Guerin’s hazel gaze this close.

“I’m not doing this, Michael. I don’t have anything to say.” Alex moves around Michael, taking an extra large step to insure they don’t touch, but a large hand, skin smooth and fingers nimble, reaches out to hold him in place.

“Alex, please. I’m really trying. You said you wanted to be friends. Remember?”

Alex chooses to ignore the pleading in Michael’s voice, terrified of what hearing that kind of vulnerability will do to his resolve.

Instead he keeps a steadfast stare at that hand on his arm. It’s easier to be away from Michael when Alex has a reminder of Michael eliminating him from his life, his memories, even if that specific instance wasn’t ultimately his choice.

“A lot’s changed since I said that. You made that perfectly clear.” He meets Michael’s eye then, seeing some hurt there, but it’s too late. Alex was forced to rebuild his life after Michael made sure Alex would play no part in his. He won’t give up the progress he’s made putting the pieces back together just to have his heart broken again.

He feels Michael’s hand loosen it’s grip so Alex takes advantage and starts walking again. As he pushes the door open, breath shaky and hands clammy, he hears an almost whispered, “I’ll never look away again.”

The tears are almost instant and his resolve nearly crumbles but he puts one boot in front of the other and heads out into the heat.

He runs a hand through his hair as he moves as fast as he can towards his Jeep, a quiet lunch out demolished in a few seconds.

But what pisses Alex off more than a ruined meal, as he sits with his hands gripping the steering wheel until the leather is imprinted into his hands, is that he got exactly what he wanted. When it’s quiet and he has to face his own thoughts, he knows why he goes to the Crashdown midday. He knows why he walks down the main street on the weekend. He knows why he drives out of his way to pass Sanders on his way into town.

Alex is just a man wandering the desert, praying for a drop of water and every now and then, with the right timing, his prayers are answered.

He’s used to getting sips of water but today, thank god, it finally fucking poured.


	9. Chapter 9

Alex got the job.

He had done his research and found Hunter was the Manes stationed at Shefield. He'd made up some bullshit story about missing the military but not wanting desk duty because of his leg. His brother empathized and, since their father was mysteriously MIA, got Alex a guard job.

The morning of his first day, the group met insanely early at Isobel's place. Michael had rigged up a small camera to attach to his lapels so they could record exits, passwords, corridor codes, all the necessary bits.

Alex was shockingly calm. He was ready for this to begin and to end. 

Save the child. Heal Max. Leave Roswell.

"Can we go over this once more, please?" Liz was clearly becoming more and more anxious the closer the time came to begin the mission. 

Alex gave her a small smile. "Of course."

Liz smiled in return. "Okay. You're going to do some recon the first few shifts you work. We're looking primarily for access codes, entrances and exits, computer passwords. If you get any information on how their subduing the aliens, that would be amazing."

Alex nodded, already slipping back into the role of solider.

He noticed Guerin staring in his periphery but refused to look back. No distractions.

Kyle stepped up, taking hold of his friend by the arms. "You play nice. You do the bro-thing with the other guards. You get as close to S-2 as possible and then we move."

Again Alex nodded but was stopped by Valenti's demand of, "no missions on your own! We move as a group with a plan."

Alex rolled his eyes. "Sir, yes sir."

Kyle gave him a playful push. "Shut up. But seriously." The smile dropped from his face. "Be safe."

Alex offered the group a smile and said, "I will."

From the kitchen, an exhausted looking Isobel shouted, "you owe me a shopping trip. Don't die please and thank you."

Alex shook his head and laughed, grabbing his keys. "I'll be fine. I'll text the group later."

He headed out to his Jeep after an emotional hug from Liz, tossing his bag in the passenger side.

"Hey."

Alex sighed and turned. 

"Hey."

Michael shuffled on his feet, awkward and uncomfortable, so different from the man Alex had known for so long.

Guerin ran a hand through his curls, frustration radiating off of him. "I, um. I just-"

Their eyes met then and Alex had this insane thought that Michael might pull him into his arms and kiss the breath out of him.

"Just be careful. Okay?"

Alex bit his lip, refusing to let his disappointment show. 

He was a fucking idiot.

"I will." 

Alex moved to the driver's side and climbed in, starting the car. As he put the car in gear Michael appeared at the window. Alex rolled it down with some hesitancy. He just wanted to get this over with.

"What, Guerin? I can't be late."

Michael nodded, his eyes darting all over Alex's face. He had a way of looking at Alex that made him feel so exposed and raw.

He craved it.

"It's over." Alex's face must have shown his confusion. "With Maria. It's over."

Alex nodded, heart racing and hands clammy. He didn't want to do this now. Or maybe ever.

"Yeah, Liz mentioned."

Both men were quiet, the rumbling engine the only sound between them. 

"She said Maria ended it. Not you."

Guerin looked up at that. Alex saw some confusion there, maybe some fear, too. But he couldn't worry about that now.

Alex shrugged, desperate to look indifferent. "Maybe you two can work it out. But, look, I have to go."

With that, he pushed on the accelerator and drove off, naively looking forward to working and pushing Guerin as far back in his mind as humanly possible.

Save the child. Heal Max. Leave Roswell.

Not for the first time, Michael stood in the wake of Alex, heart in his hand and broken, yet again, from his own doing.

When would he ever fucking learn?


	10. Chapter 10

Michael's not a crier.

He's gotten emotional less than a handful of times in his life, most of them happening within the last few years. 

But as he sat outside of Isobel's house, hat in his hands and regret stirring through his mind, the sting of tears returned.

How many different ways could one man fuck up? He'd been at constant odds with Max before he died or went into stasis or whatever they're calling it now. He'd played a major role in the death of his own mother. He pushed Alex as far away as he possibly could. Maria couldn't stand the sight of him. Even Valenti looked like he swallowed vinegar every time he was forced to look his way.

He thought he had known loneliness before but this was a whole other level.

The sound of footsteps pulled Michael from his pity party. He wiped his eyes aggressively, wanting absolutely no one to see him at his most vulnerable. When he looked up, he found Liz looking at him with a small smile. She moved her hand into his hair, scratching slightly and sat down in the chair next to his.

For a few peaceful minutes they sat in silence. Michael looked around, thinking suddenly about how selfish he'd been. Yeah, it had definitely been a shitty time for him but he left Isobel to fend for herself. Not only had she lost Max, who she'd always been closer to than Michael had, but she was still grieving her marriage and trying to get over what that asshole did to her.

He made a silent vow to do better.

"So," Liz sighed out next to him. "Can we talk about your personal life for a minute?"

Michael glared at her, trying to figure out if she was making fun of him or was serious. When he decided she was serious, he said simply, "no."

Liz nodded, turning her attention to the sand blowing in the wind in front of them. The desert could be peaceful sometimes.

"Okay. Well then I'm just gonna tell you my piece of the puzzle."

Michael sat up straighter, turning slightly in his chair to see her better. "What does that mean?"

Liz stopped rocking her chair and pulled one of her knees toward her chest, hugging it closely. "I was there. The night Maria ended things."

Michael nodded. "Had a front seat somehow?"

Liz tucked her hair behind her ear. "I didn't mean to. I was just stopping by to see Maria and overheard your fight."

Michael nodded, spinning his hat in his hands. "I never meant to hurt her, you know. I really liked her and I really wanted to make it work."

Liz gave a small smile. "You could still try. To make it work I mean."

Michael just laughed humorlessly and shook his head. "Nah. That ship has sailed."

"But maybe if you told her the truth about-"

"I'm in love with Alex, Liz." 

Her jaw dropped like a cartoon character. Michael bit his lip, quietly surprised at how easily those words left his mouth. He took a deep breath and leaned back further in the chair, closing his eyes for a moment.

"I've been in love with Alex since we were kids. We just kept managing to fuck it up or get the timing wrong. This last time though-" he shook his head and huffed out a sad sound. "Not good."

Liz reached out, gently touching Michael's hand with her own. "I didn't know. I knew Alex liked you, that you had a thing back in high school, but I didn't know it was so serious. Maria said you told her it was over between you two."

Michael nodded, slowly pulling his hand away from hers. He didn't deserve her comfort. "We were never actually together, you know? I convinced myself he didn't feel the way I did 'cause he never wanted anyone to know about us. Then, a bunch of shit happened and-" he wiped his face, trying to will away his frustration and tears. "I blamed him. I didn't want to be alone, though. I wanted someone to take care of me, to let me feel normal for a little while and Maria was absolutely perfect."

"I'm sure Alex understands that. Have you tried-"

"I told him he meant nothing to me. I told him I thought he was a bad guy. I hit on every insecurity and vulnerability he has."

A tear escaped then.

With a sniffle he added, "I would never forgive someone who spoke to me like that. He's never gonna forgive me."

Liz shook her head. "You don't know that. Maybe he just needs time or some space."

Michael stood up, hat back in place. "I don't need false hope, Liz. He might be risking his life right now for me. Not in a sexy, romantic way but because I made him feel guilty for being born into a worthless family; made him feel like he was just another cruel bastard. He's doing this to bring Max back for you and to, like, atone for his dad being a monster."

He moved to the railing of the porch, knuckles turning white where he braced himself on the beam. He looked out into the yard, any sense of peace he had, gone.

"If anything happens to him because I fucked with his head I'll never forgive myself."

He felt Liz next to him, a comforting warmth radiating from her. She wrapped her arm around his waist and leaned in, resting her head on his shoulder.

"He might think it's worth the risk for the man he loves." Michael pulled back to look at her, doubt clouding his features. "And he might feel better knowing that man loves him, too."

Michael shrugged. "Who the hell knows?"

He gave Liz's shoulder a quick squeeze and headed to his truck. 

"Hey Mikey?"

He stopped and turned, noticing a sudden change in Liz's demeanor.

"What?"

"I know the timing is shitty but you really do need to talk to Maria."

Michael shook his head but Liz stopped him before he could say anything else. "She's asking questions. Questions I can't answer but I don't want to lie anymore."

Michael tilted his head, confusion written across his face. With an exhausted sigh, Liz said, "you tell her you're a little martian or I will."


	11. Chapter 11

_Fuck._

He had totally fucked up. Hopefully he could get them both out of here and plead insanity to the group when they got back.

Alex's leg throbbed as he ran with everything he had, gun held at the ready to be fired in one hand, 50 pound alien over his opposite shoulder.

Everything had been going fine. He'd managed to get in on time despite his conversation with Michael that morning. He'd met the guards, a bunch of testosterone driven, macho white dudes, but played nice like he was supposed to. He memorized two of the guards computer passwords and received three access codes to the doors leading to S-2 all before lunch. 

He didn't expect S-2 to be the only prisoner. 

He also didn't expect S-2 to be a tiny little thing with a mass of curly hair reminding him of another vulnerable alien.

After he was shown the cell and given their schedule, he went on his break and that was really all it took. The way the guards spoke about the kid made his stomach turn. Men who he could have served with, lost his leg for, standing around talking about S-2 like they were a thing, something to torture and play with. Once the jokes and commentary took a sick turn Alex knew what he had to do.

Under the guise of learning the facility better, he set off on his own. He back tracked first, starting at the main exit and noting all of the cameras and their locations. After a long walk with an aching leg, he ended up in the computer room where it took him longer than he would have liked to hack in and shut them down. 

Alex headed back down toward the break room and found one guard alone, coffee in hand. Before the asshole could even greet Alex, he was on the floor out cold. With David Miller's ID in hand, Alex headed toward his destination.

With his heart pounding in his throat and breath escaping in wet gasps, he dug his phone out of his pocket and sent off a quick text to Kyle.

_A: Extracting now cant wait_

He moved down the corridor and found S-2 asleep on their cot, back turned toward the glass. Alex grabbed Miller's badge and used it to open the door. He briefly wondered if someone had already found the unconscious guard, pretty certain at least, that the man wouldn't be waking up any time soon on his own.

When they heard the door open, S-2 startled awake and moved as far away from Alex as possible. 

He had no idea if this kid knew English or would come with him at all, having abandoned his plan to slowly build a rapport. This could actually be really bad.

With his hands in the air he tried. "I'm Alex. I have friends like you. I'm here to get you out and get you safe to them."

S-2 didn't move. Still guarded and with their back pressed to the wall.

He tried again. "I'm Alex and I won't hurt you." He took a step into the cell. "But we need to go. Now. Before the guards come."

S-2 tilted their head, looking as though they were having a silent debate. Quickly, but in a smooth, silent maneuver, S-2 had Alex by the neck with one hand and the other on his gun. Their eyes locked and Alex found he couldn't move. Their eyes had turned completely white and he wondered to himself if his looked the same. His neck began to burn and his head started to pulse when they took their hand away. 

Alex staggered back, trying to regain his equilibrium, leaning against the glass of the cell. He had no idea what just happened but he was pretty sure he had never felt so vulnerable in his life. 

S-2 came to him and offered their hand. As soon as their skin touched, the lights in the corridor dimmed and the alarms began to blare. Alex was thrown back to a year ago when he thought for sure those alarms meant he would lose the only one he'd ever loved, but he shook himself of those unhelpful thoughts and started to move. He took the safety off of his gun and shoved S-2 behind him. Alex could feel their hands in his shirt, sweaty and shaky.

How could anyone do this to a fucking child?

With each turn came another guard Alex took down, some more easily than others. He did what he could to not kill but he didn't stop to check their status once they were down. 

After a particularly close call with one of the big bastards, Alex knew they were running out of time. He lifted S-2, who let out a small whimper of surprise, over his shoulder and started to run as best he could.

With a few more shots they were out of the building and made it to his Jeep.

Once in it, though, his heart stopped. Keys were in his jacket, in the building, in his locker. 

He wasn't great with cars, immediately whipping out his phone to google hot wiring, but it was in vain as the Jeep started up.

He looked over to find S-2 in the passenger seat but with a glowing hand on the dash. 

Alex breathed out a, "thank you!" and hit the gas, busting through a gate on their way out. 

Kyle called when they were about 5 miles out. On speaker, Kyle was screaming, "what the fuck, Manes? What did I say? No solo missions!"

"Shut up. They're in the car and freaked out enough. Stop yelling!"

He heard Kyle sigh in frustration. "Are you hurt?"

Alex didn't know. He had taken a punch or two for sure but the adrenaline had really taken over.

"I don't know. I feel okay I think." 

"Fuck, Manes. Where are you going? I'll meet you there."

Alex rubbed his eyes, sweat getting in the way and blurring his vision. When he moved his hand though, his stomach turned to find it red and tacky.

He couldn't worry about that now. "Cabin. Isobel's and Max's are too visible."

"Okay. I'm leaving now. Don't die, please." And with that pleasant pep talk, Valenti hung up. 

Alex rolled his eyes but discovered that made a sharp pain move from his right eye directly through to the back of his head. He pulled down the visor to check the mirror, immediately regretting the decision. 

He prayed for the adrenaline to keep pumping.

When he pulled up to the cabin what felt like hours later, he was amazed he was still conscious. His vision had started to blur from more than blood and he was struggling to stay alert. But he focused on the goal. 

Get S-2 to Max. Get S-2 to Max.

Once the car stopped, he turned to S-2 who had been staring at him most of the ride, un-moving. He could admit he was bitter they weren't using their magic healing on his serious, potentially life threatening head injury, but he also knew he probably didn't deserve it. 

He was a solider, just like the other pieces of shit in that place. They probably couldn't tell the difference. He didn't deserve their kindness just like none of the guards he left behind had deserved his. 

Alex moved his arm, a bit disturbed to find he had very little control of it, trying to open the door. "You're safe now. They'll take care of you." 

He finally found the handle and pushed but as he put what pressure he could to open the door, he felt himself fall and darkness took over.

**********

"Alex! C'mon Alex! Open your fucking eyes, Private!"

It took an embarrassing amount of effort, but Alex lifted his heavy eyelids to find honey curls right in his face. He found that the comforting pressure he felt surrounding his head, were the strong, large hands of Michael, cradling him as though he was something precious. 

Beautiful, hazel eyes swam with tears of relief as Michael coughed out a cry and a "thank fuck."

Alex had never been so tired in his life. He was actually struggling to figure out if the rescue was a dream or if maybe this was. 

No matter what the answer, he decided he wanted to take advantage of having Michael so close. He called forth every muscle he had and raised his arm up to card his fingers through the soft, damp curls. 

With a rasp and burn, Alex got out, "are they safe?"

Michael nodded. "You did it, you dumb ass. They're safe."

Alex nodded in return, eyes drooping. "Good. That's good." 

He felt a rough hand softly caress his cheek. "Alex? Please let me take care of you. Don't send me away. Please?"

Alex forced his eyes open again, finding Michael's wide with fear and concern. They had so much to work through but right now, nothing sounded better.

"Okay."

Immediately Alex felt like he was floating but took comfort in the feeling Michael's strong chest and steady heartbeat. He'd give Michael shit tomorrow about carrying him like a baby but, for now, he'd bask in it. 

He was placed gently down on the bed and felt his prosthetic disappear. Distantly he thought he heard other voices, maybe Kyle? Liz? But the pillow was too cool and too soft and the blanket was too comfortable and, when Michael climbed into the bed and pulled Alex close, it was all too perfect to stay awake.


	12. Chapter 12

Alex woke to the sound of whispered arguing outside the bedroom and a headache that made him want to remove his brain. He moved his foot slightly in the bed, wondering if he was alone, but stopped when he realized one of the angry voices was Michael.

He tried thinking back to the mission but everything felt muddled, like he had had a dream but was wide awake while it was happening. He slowly turned over in bed to face the ceiling, appreciating the coolness on the untouched part of the pillow, and opened his eyes little by little. The curtains were drawn and the lights were still off keeping the room in a soft dim. He opened and closed his eyes a few times, attempting to blink away the blurriness, when he caught sight of movement in the corner of his eye. 

He twisted to find S-2 sitting in a chair, their legs pulled up close to their chest, head resting on their knees, staring straight at Alex. There was something so familiar about them but he couldn't put his finger on it.

"It should have been with Max by now! For all we know it'll take five seconds and we'll have him back!" Liz sounded frantic even through the solid wood door. 

"He's been out for so long already, a few more days can't hurt." Kyle's voice was rough with exhaustion. Alex wondered how long he'd been here keeping watch. Actually, Alex wondered how long _he'd_ been here.

"We're wasting time. If it can help Max-" 

"Just stop, Liz!" Michael's voice was so loud Alex jumped slightly, instantly grimacing at the pain that shot all the way down his neck. "Stop calling them 'it.' They want to be with Alex and I think it's helping. Once Alex is up, he'll help us figure out what to do."

Alex kept looking at the little one across from him. They didn't move, sometimes to such an extreme Alex questioned whether or not they required oxygen. He cleared his throat and tried to sit up a bit but regretted it as soon as he shifted. With a groan he asked, "are you okay?" 

For a few minutes they just continued to stare at one another and Alex took the opportunity to absorb as much as he could. Their color looked a lot better than the last time he remembered seeing their face; still very pale but less from fear and presumable torture and more from an assumed life of no sunlight. Their hair was still a wild mess of curls, framing a face with a strong nose but delicate cheekbones and soft jawline. They looked like a human child. Alex wanted to be sick.

The curls moved gently as Alex realized they were nodding at him. He smiled a bit, pleased to find that he could be understood. Alex tried once again to move but this time a shooting pain in his hip forced a gasp from his mouth. The little alien stood suddenly and with nothing more than a slight eyebrow raise, the bedroom door flew open, exposing the three distracted friends.

Michael moved first, cradling Alex's head trying to figure out the source of his cries. Kyle had headed to the other side of the bed and pulled out a needle and syringe while Liz had practically climbed on the bed in an attempt to help Michael find out what was hurting Alex so badly. Before any of them could do anything of real value, the three of them found themselves being thrown against opposite walls, pressure on their necks leaving them immobile, floating and without air.

Alex heard the thud through the searing pain and forced his eyes open. Shock allowed him to sit up but it also left him speechless for a dangerous amount of time. He reached blindly out next to him, vision still coming in and out, and made contact with the only one in the room with that kind of power. "Hey, hey, I'm okay. They're trying to help me, I promise."

He looked at them and saw fear sketched all over their face. God, this really is just a child. Alex took hold of their hand and brought them in closer. He said softly, "they're good. They're my friends. And I'm hurting really bad. Please," he was practically gasping for air himself now. "Please. I need their help."

After a second of searching his eyes for any lies and without looking away, Michael, Liz and Kyle all hit the ground, coughing and gasping, rubbing at their throats. Alex leaned back against the pillows and squeezed his eyes shut, only slightly embarrassed by the tears that escaped. "Thank you."

Alex was pulling from every pain control trick in the book, the torture training he had endured, both at home and abroad, coming in helpful. He felt a cool sensation at the back of his neck and turned into it, not realizing how overheated he really was. That coolness quickly turned to heat and Alex felt what he could only describe as a warm electricity start in his head and move down to his hips and his foot. 

When the sensation stopped, Alex took a deep breath, not realizing he had been holding it the entire time. He felt better, although he missed their touch, and quickly discovered he was healed, from head to toe. He sat up to look at his savior and his heart broke. Alex could feel it all, everything they were feeling, and it was crushing. They were terrified and alone, unsure of everything around them. 

Alex sniffed and had no shame in the fresh set of tears that fell. He threw his leg over the side of the bed and slowly brought his hands to their face. He cupped their cheeks gently and took a deep breath. "I'm gonna take care of you, okay? You're safe." Their lip trembled as their eyes filled. Alex nodded his head and said, "it's okay. You're safe, I promise." He pulled them in and held on tight, rocking slightly as they sobbed and held onto Alex's shirt like a vice.

The others all stood around, unsure what to do or how to help. Liz cried silently, hand covering her mouth to stifle her cries, only slightly ashamed of the hope that was blossoming in her chest. Kyle stood in shock, amazed to see first-hand a man with a major concussion and severe hip injury healed in seconds. And Michael-

Michael couldn't breathe. Alex was safe. He had saved one of his people. There were more of them. They could bring Max back; it was actually possible. 

And Alex was safe.

The room was still, each person processing and digesting in the silence. 

"Vega." The little voice sounded weak and broken, their face still buried in Alex's neck. 

He pulled back slightly and caught their attention with his eyes. Once they were focused on one another, Alex gently asked, "what did you say?"

They stood up a bit, pushing their hair out of their face. With a wipe of their cheek and a deep breath, they put their hand in the center of their chest and repeated. 

"Vega."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For @draculaspetbee on tumblr. I got your message and you were 100% my motivation for the update. I hope you liked it!


	13. Chapter 13

Alex woke slowly. He refused to open his eyes before he took stock of everything that had happened the night before. He started with his own body. Three limbs intact, able to move them all. Can think of name and DOB. Good. Remember the little non-human who saved his life. He slowly opened his eyes at that thought and took in the tiny one sharing his bed. Wild curls piled on their pillow and a peaceful expression on their face. Alex could still feel their connection. It was soft in the background now instead of pulsing through his veins, but all he felt was a feeling of safety and comfort.

Gently, Alex turned over to stretch his hip and startled slightly when he found Michael slumped in the chair, quiet snores escaping him. Alex's heart picked up despite his internal objections. Michael always made his heart race and skip beats but, fuck, this was all so complicated. There was no denying how much Michael cared about him after last night. He was clearly devastated when he thought Alex was in danger but did it really erase all the shit that had gone down? Did it negate the months of loneliness and betrayal he'd felt? The heartbreak when Michael made him feel as though he meant nothing or, worse even, he was just another monster like his dad? 

Vega stirred next to him and Alex decided to prioritize. Scared alien first. Divisive, adult alien second.

Alex pulled himself up so his back rested against the headboard. Vega opened their eyes and looked around the room. He offered what he hoped to be a small, reassuring smile. "Hey. You feeling alright?"

Vega looked around, clearly getting reoriented, and nodded slowly. Their gaze fell on the man in the chair, too, and they smiled slightly. Alex raised an eyebrow and couldn't help but wonder when their sentiments may have changed. 

"I'm gonna get dressed and make something to eat. You hungry?" Vega nodded and hopped out of bed, grabbing clothes strewn about the floor with an energy Alex wasn't sure he ever had. He couldn't help but laugh. Different planet, still a kid.

Alex shimmied himself to the edge of the bed and leaned over to get his prosthetic. With the metal clicking into place, Michael groaned and rubbed his neck. "Jesus. I'm too old for this sleeping rough shit." Alex couldn't help but grimace, images of a teenage Michael sitting on the bed of his truck flooding his mind.

Little alien first. Gorgeous, frustrating, adult alien second.

"Need any help?" He looked up when he noticed the tone of Michael's voice change from morning rough to soft and kind. He just shook his head. 

He stood up, stretched his back and headed out to the kitchen where he was surprised to find Vega already slurping down orange juice and inhaling pancakes. Many pancakes.

Valenti was leaning against the counter, steaming cup of coffee in his hand and a thoughtful smile on his face, while Liz sat next to Vega, eating her pancakes and stealing glances. 

What an adorable, fucked up family they made.

"Want a cup, Alex?" Kyle was already pouring before he could answer. He took the mug with a small smile and plopped in the empty seat next to Vega. 

"So," Liz said around a mouthful of pancakes. "What happens now?"

The room seemed to turn and stare at Alex. Even Michael had emerged from the bedroom, one of Alex's old t-shirts clinging tightly to his torso, looking for an answer as well. Alex took a sip of his coffee and looked at Vega. They looked both scared and content, if that's even possible. Well, he knew it was, since he was feeling it, too. The feeling that this was exactly how it should be; Vega safe with him, surrounded by friends and Michael, but also the gnawing fear that it would all be stolen away.

All he could offer was a shrug of his shoulders. "I don't know. I think, for now, we let Vega eat and rest and get adjusted. They'll stay here, with me. And then we go from there." He watched Liz bite her tongue and was actually proud of her for showing some restraint. He didn't think he would be quite as in control if the tables were turned but Max was as safe as he could be and they both knew rushing Vega would help no one.

"I'm gonna get some air. Keep eating." He pushed Vega's curls off of their forehead and gave a them small shake. They smiled and happily shoveled in another pancake. He heard Kyle laugh and the sound of more liquid hitting glass. He couldn't help but wonder if sugar had the same effect on alien kids as human ones.

He sat in the rocker on the porch and took in the day. It was perfect. The temperature comfortable, not a cloud in the stunningly blue sky, a slight breeze to take away any heat that threatened to become oppressive. He closed his eyes and relaxed. 

He felt Michael take the seat next to him despite hearing no sound at all. He sighed, unsure if he was ready or interested in having any kind of deep discussion.

"I think you're amazing." Alex turned at that, completely surprised by the compliment. He asked an inarticulate, "wh-what?"

Michael laughed and sipped his coffee. "You heard me. That kid was terrified and so were we. But you just, stepped up, barely batted an eye." Michael looked down at his socked foot, big toe poking through. "You have a tendency of making people feel safe."

Alex swallowed and bit his lip. This new, more open, more vulnerable Michael was a lot to handle. "Look, Guerin, I don't know what you want me to say here." He ran a hand through his hair and leaned forward, cup cradled between his hands and arms resting on his knees. "Yesterday, you being here, meant a lot, but it doesn't change everything. There's so much."

Michael nodded, not looking at Alex but taking in their surroundings. The silence felt heavy but not uncomfortable. Alex heard the quiet sounds from within the cabin of conversation and metal against glass. Vega was still chowing down, apparently.

Michael slapped his knees and stood suddenly, causing Alex to jump a bit and splash some of his coffee on the deck. "I really like it here, Alex. It's peaceful, centering." He turned to Alex then, determination written all over him. Alex knew whatever words were coming would hold power but his brain was having trouble focusing on anything other than his sweats hanging off of Michael's trim hips. "I like this land. I like this cabin. I like Vega. I like it all." Alex waited, holding his breath, afraid to disrupt Michael during his monologue. "I like it all and I love you." Their eyes met and Alex felt himself fall. "I love you more than I've ever loved anyone or anything. So I'm not going anywhere. I'm gonna be by your side, helping you take care of Vega and figure all of this shit out."

Michael moved closer to Alex and he actually began trembling with anticipation. Michael leaned down slowly, letting Alex breathe in the slight smell of sweat and home, and kissed him gently on the cheek. "I'm gonna be here until you're ready. I'm not looking away. Never again."

  
With a small smile, Michael headed back into the cabin. Alex covered his eyes with his hand and sighed. He was a fucking idiot to think he'd ever _not_ want Michael Guerin.


End file.
